Never been happy?

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, worry, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, humor, generosity, truth, compassion and faith. 

The grandson thought for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Never been happy?

Think about this; you hang out with a new person, a new friend or a new love, how do you get to know this person, how do you show this person your affection? Do you want to satisfy this persons needs so the person will like you back and you can become closer? Do you wish for the other person’s affection and smile back to you, to let you know you are accepted and liked for what you talk about and how you look aso. Do you wish to exchange laughter, good feelings, having good times together.. Do you listen to and smile at this person, at least with your eyes to show him/her you enjoy his/hers company?

OR, do you lay on the sofa, looking like you are about to shoot yourself through the head, and telling this person about how you want to kill yourself, how you’ve never been happy and probably never going to be, how shit and useless your life is, how you hate all people around you?

No?

So.. do this, put your hand to your heart and feel.. keep your hand there while reading the rest of this.. and hopefully a few times every day hereafter.

Is there a heartbeat? There is right,, so there is a person in there. Who is it? You don’t know, couldn’t have any idea, because for the first time, you just met. Congratulations on finding this someone, because this person has been there all your life, overlooked, even by YOU.

So this person.. is stuck in there.. must suck right? This person, does not have your looks… does not have your likes or dislikes… does not have your idea of fun.. this person..  IS NOT you.

So it’s a new person that’s with you all of a sudden, better shower and dress up maybe, maybe put on some make-up and a smile, so you can greet him/her. How do you get to know him/her?

Ask him/her what they like? It won’t be that easy. Because this person has been stuck inside you for all of your life, and no one has ever talked to him/her, he doesn’t know how to talk. Sorry. Moreover, this person has no mouth ;-)

Then how?? Maybe you can start with seeing what makes him/her excited/angry. Emotion does not need language, right? So.. maybe try dancing together, perhaps to some jazz? (No need to hug yourself here whilst dancing, this person dances through you, dances like you do, so just  dance like nobody’s watching.;-)

After the dance, feel the heart again, is there an emotion of happiness coming from it, a spark? Not sure? Maybe try something else, write a poem together.  Do it with intention, you have all the time in the world, since this person have no curfew; he/she lives inside you.

Learn some new phrases in a different language.

Try going for a swim, forget calling friends to go with you in the beginning, because you have this person here already with you that you should get to know personally before you go out with the rest of your friends.

Now, it’s not the same as all the other times you’ve been swimming, that was just you, that you already know like swimming somewhat. Now you’re doing them to see what you’re new found friend likes, to get to know him/her.

Feel the heart again, feel it and listen deeply, starting to feel the spark from actually doing these things? Congratulations, on starting to get a hang on how to hang out with this person, a friend to become, to share interests and experiences with. Work on your friendship, this is a friend that will always be with you, better not start a war with him/her, it won’t be pleasant since you are tied together.;-)

Maybe even try Travelling togetherJ, see how grumpy this person gets when hungry, or when feet are getting wet. Keep him/her well fed and entertained and enjoy having good times together. Since this person is stuck inside you, only you can take him/her places.

“What’s this crap about someone inside you that you need to satisfy?? What about what You want then??” Sorry, this person has emotions too, and since he/she is inside you, what he/she feel, you will feel too. If he/she is not happy, you will not be. Make friends with this “person” (read: YOUR MIND) or you might as well forget about ever seeing the sun.

So.. a spark won’t make a fire right? Many will. In the beginning you need to care for the fire until its really burning. With every act you do for the fire it will burn stronger. You have no idea, what it is to live when the fire is burning, because…;

Never been happy? Your fire was never lit. You don’t know how to make yourself happy. How the f can you lay in your couch and still ask why you’re not happy.  This kind of behavior wouldn’t make your friends enjoy your company, how could it make you enjoy it. Take responsibility, every wake moment, you are with someone; -yourself, hell, you even sleep together every night.

Laziness will not be accepted, you can’t fool your emotions into being happy, sorry.
What I’ve written here, the heart thing, the other person, is because you need to see, that doing some random things you think should make you feel good (because they make other people feel good) won’t take you anywhere if your heart is not in it. You think you know yourself, after many years of living, but if you’re not happy, you probably have no clue.

Chances are, you have a very different soul from other people, and that could be why your fire was never lit by the things that lit all the other kids fires when you were young, and you grew up never knowing what you actually need to satisfy your cravings. And so your soul starved and maybe shut itself down because it didn’t get any of that what it needed to flourish and it didn’t feel that it was wanted. Time to take it out for an adventure, to show it you are grown up now, and have the resources to give it what it need. But beware, waking your soul mean you also need to follow, it won’t answer until you promise you will uproot your whole life and move across the globe if that is what it takes. You don’t want that? Keep feeling like s**t then, Bye.

Medication and eating well is for your body, the hand that feels the heart is the body. The heart, or soul is not touched by medication, because you CANNOT FOOL THE SOUL. Body and soul are different things. Again, no lazy way out of this, and when you feel the spark, you wouldn't have it any other way.